Sunday, 30 September 2012

Today I have had a very boring morning, and a very fun afternoon.

This morning I was feeling very tired, so when I woke up I spent some time lying in my cot talking to myself quietly, and looking up at my dangly mobile. Then noisy mummy came crashing into my room and started to sing at me, and she made me get out of bed and go downstairs to eat breakfast. I could tell that she was only getting me up because daddy was still asleep, and she wanted someone to play with so she wouldn't get bored.

I allowed mummy to feed me and get me dressed, and then we played in the living room until daddy got up. When daddy came downstairs he was grumpy and he had on his troll face, where his hair sticks up all over the place and he's cross because he doesn't want to be awake.

When daddy was not looking so much like a troll, we went to the big shop and bought a LOT of food, and I wriggled around in the trolley seat and shouted "down!", but the parent staff were very boring and made me stay where I was.

When we got to the "check-out", I tried to steal food as it moved towards the till lady on its own, but the parent staff wouldn't let me do this either. It was very boring indeed.

After this, we went back home and put all the food away, and then the parent staff decided that we were going to do fun things because there had been enough boringness now.

So we packed up some picnic stuff and some coats and my wellies, and we got into the car and drove far away to a place in the countryside, where there was the biggest playground that I have ever seen. On the way there we stopped to collect Sean and Catherine, who are friends of the parent staff's. The parent staff thought that it would be nice to take Sean and Catherine out for an adventure with us, where they would get to spend some time admiring me.

The giant playground place was a "trail", where people walk around a big field and do dangerous things like go across tiny bridges and get lost in mazes, and fall over in the mud. I let my wellies have lots of fun splashing in the puddles, and I fell over lots and got my hands very muddy. Every time I fell over, I showed mummy my hands and said, "dir-ty", and made her clean them for me. Well, what else are staff for?

When we had been all around the "trail", we went back to the car and drove away to a "pub", where the parent staff thought that we should have dinner. Daddy ordered us all some food and mummy put me in a highchair and tried to make me be still and quiet while we waited for the food to come to us. She got out some playing cards and tried to get me to play "snap".

"Snap" is a great game. I know how to play it because daddy taught me the other day. One of the grown-ups will put some cards down on the table, and I have to bang my hands down on top of them and shout "NAP!" Then I have to pick all the cards up and scrunch them tightly in my fists, and put them in my mouth and bite them before the grown-ups can get them back from me. I was very good at playing "snap" in the pub, and I won lots of cards to bite.

I had not quite eaten all of the cards when our food arrived, and then I forgot about "snap" because I had fish cakes to eat instead. The fish cakes were very nice and I ate them all up. Then I ate a banana, and leaned my head sideways so I could look at the grownups and laugh while they finished eating their food.

After this we all got back into the car, and daddy drove us home again. It was dark by this time and I am normally in bed before it gets dark, so it was fun to still be up playing with the grown-ups. Mummy was sitting in the back of the car with me on the way home and I pestered her with books until I fell asleep.

When I woke up, we were at home and the parent staff were putting me in the bath so that they could wash all the mud off me from the "trail". It was a nice bath, but I was very sleepy and I felt ready to go to bed by this time.

The parent staff gave me lots of kisses at bedtime and said that they have had lots of fun with me today. This is probably true, because I am very entertaining, and without me they would have very boring grown-up times.

Thursday, 27 September 2012

For the last few days, every time I have been outside the house I have said, "mey-ning, gen", because it has been raining aaaaaall the time. Today, though, it was sunny for the first time in ages, so me and mummy went out to the park to play before the rain could come back and catch us.

The park was good; we fed lots of ducks and we made friends with a squirrel who came really close to us while we were walking along the path. There were lots of puddles that the rain had made for me, and I shouted "puggles!" when I saw them, and jumped in them and made my feet wet.

Mummy told me not to jump in the puddles, because she had been foolish and not put my wellies on before we came to the park, but I decided to ignore her. Puddles are meant to be jumped in, and if mummy has been silly and forgotten my wellies, then it is her fault that my shoes get wet.

When we got back home, mummy had to take off my shoes and my tights, and put them in the whirly machine to make them clean again. Then we had lunch and played with my toys in the living room. Mummy got out my crayons and paper so that we could draw pictures, but I thought that it would be more fun to annoy mummy by putting the crayons in my mouth and chewing them.

Mummy told me not to do this so I did it more, and I also stamped my feet on the paper and made it wrinkle up under my toes. Mummy got cross and told me that if I didn't stop this, she would put me in "time out". I made my cheeky face at her with my nose all wrinkled up, and shoved two crayons in my mouth to chew at once, and then I danced on the paper like a goblin.

Mummy picked me up and carried me upstairs to the landing, and then she went back downstairs and left me there.

It was boring on the landing - so boring that after a minute or two I fell asleep on the carpet, and didn't wake up until some time later on, when I realised that mummy was walking past me carrying a pile of wet clothes.

I didn't know if mummy was still cross with me or not, so when she went into her bedroom to put the clothes on the clothes dryer, I sneaked in after her and climbed up onto the bed and sat there grinning at her, with my cheesiest face on.

Mummy saw me doing this and she laughed, and then she let me come and help her hang up the wet clothes on the dryer.

Then I climbed back onto the bed and rolled around on the covers, and pulled my T-shirt up and showed mummy my tummy, and chortled lots. Mummy said that I was very silly, but she was laughing too because I am very amusing.

After this, mummy put us both into our swimming clothes, and then we got into the car and went to my swimming lesson. Swimming lesson today was really good fun. We chased some plastic ducks around the pool and we did a new thing where the mummies had to throw the babies into the water from the side and shout "splash!"

I enjoyed this very much.

When we got home from swimming, it was time for dinner, and then bath and bedtime. Daddy was not here because he was working late again, so it was just me and mummy and Harvey. Mummy says that after tomorrow, though, I will have daddy for two whole days ... so that is something to look forward to.

Monday, 24 September 2012

Daddy was my staff today, because he did not have to go to work. He was very excited about this, and he had made big plans for us to go out on his bike ... but when we got up in the morning it was raining and raining and raining, so he decided that we should do inside things instead. Grown-ups are very feeble about rain.

In the morning we played and read books and ate things, and then we got in the car and daddy took us to a special place that is a big playground for little people like me, where everything is squishy and it doesn't hurt if you fall over.

The special playground was quite busy, and there were lots of children who were bigger than me there. Daddy didn't want me to get squashed by a bigger child, so he came with me into the playground and showed me how to climb over things, and how to build towers out of big squishy blocks.

While we were building towers, some of the other children came over to us and started to join in, because they thought it was fun. I was a bit surprised by this: all these children wanted to be my friend because daddy was doing something cool.

Before this, I had not thought that daddy was cool at all.

When we got home from the special playground, the grandparent staff came round to play too, and this was good.

Then mummy came home and I was very happy to see her, and I gave her lots of kisses and hugs, and made her carry me around in her arms. Then daddy tried to give me a kiss too and I bashed his face with my hand, because this is a funny thing to do. Mummy gave me a telling-off about this, and it was very long and boring.

Now that I can say lots of staff words, I use them when grown-ups tell me off, to show them that I am not really listening to what they are saying. Tonight while mummy was telling me off for daddy-face-bashing, she said, "No Georgia, that's naughty. We don't smack faces. Don't do that any more."

I looked at her very seriously while she was talking to me, and said some of the words back to her. What I said was: "Georgia ... naughty ... smack ... more."

Then I ran off to play.

The grandparent staff will be looking after me tomorrow and the day after. I am looking forward to this. Tonight my dreams will be about the special playground from today, and all of the adventures that I am going to have tomorrow.

Saturday, 22 September 2012

Daddy is at work all day again today, so me and mummy have been having “ad-ven-tures” without him.

When we were up and dressed, mummy drove us in the car to Frodo and Jess’s house, and we had a good time exploring their nice big garden. It was a very sunny day and there were lots of butterflies taking a nap on some stones. Mummy said that they were “sun-bathing”.

Mummy also found me a frog ... a real frog, not like my bath frog, which does not move on its own. The real frog was little and cool, and it moved very fast. Mummy showed it to me on her hand and I pointed at it and said “fog!”

When we had explored the garden, we got back into the car and drove far away, to a place where there was a beach and a wood. Frodo and Jess came too, and when we got there we all walked down to the beach and had a nice picnic on the sand.

Mummy had made me some sandwiches, but while I was eating them I spied some nice pasta that Jess was eating, and this made me realise that my sandwiches were stinky, and that I needed to spit them out and eat Jess’s pasta instead. So I stole lots of pasta and this made me happy.

After this we went for a walk in the woods, and hunted for squirrels. We did not find any squirrels, but we did find a lot of benches. I got very excited about every single bench that we found, and I shouted “chair!” and made the grownups wait while I climbed up onto each bench and then climbed back down again. The grownups did not seem to find this as exciting as I did; I don’t know why.

When we were walking back to the car after our squirrel hunt, I suddenly felt an uncontrollable need to be a lion ... so I dropped down onto my hands and knees and started to crawl across the ground shouting, “rarrrr! rarrrr!”

Mummy told me to get up so that I wouldn’t get squashed by cars, but I wasn’t done being a lion yet and so I ignored her. Mummy was not happy about this, and she picked me up and threw me over her shoulder and carried me back to the car like that. I had a brief paddy about this and I shouted, “Mummy!! Down!! DOWN!!”, because I felt that this was not at all the right way to treat someone as important as me ... but mummy is a very disobedient lady and she didn’t put me down until we were back at the car again.

I was very cross and I felt that mummy should be punished for this behaviour ... but by the time we had come all the way back home again, I had forgotten that I was cross and was just thinking about my dinner instead.

I had a nice dinner and a nice big bath so that mummy could wash all the bits of beach off me that had come home in my shoes and my nappy. Then we had a big cuddle before bedtime while I had my milk and story, and mummy said thank you to me for giving her such a lovely day.

Sometimes mummy is not completely awful. 

Friday, 21 September 2012

I have come up with an excellent new plan, as part of my mission to make Harvey be my friend.

The idea for the plan came from a staff language word that I have recently been using a lot. The word is “sorry”.

The grownups make me say this word when I have done something that they think is naughty, like spitting my dinner out or having a paddy in a busy place. I say, “sho-wy” and pucker my lips up to be kissed ... and the grownups say “awww!” and kiss me, and then they realise that whatever I did was not so naughty after all, and that they were wrong to tell me off.

I was thinking about this, and I felt that if I did something that Harvey thought was naughty, then I could say “sho-wy” to him too, and then he would have to kiss me and give me a hug like the grownups do.

So while mummy was doing the washing up today and Harvey was eating his dinner in the kitchen, I decided to bother him by stealing biscuits out of his bowl, and giving him pats on his bottom. Harvey got cross and walked away into the dining room, and I chased after him shouting “sho-wy!”, and holding my arms out wide to hug him, but he just walked away even faster when I did this. I puckered my lips up and made my eyes big and chased him round the table shouting “SHO-WY!! SHO-WY!!”, but he was too fast for me and I couldn’t catch him.

In the end mummy came in and told me to stop, and said that I shouldn’t chase Harvey, but she was laughing a lot while she said this. Mummy gave me a big hug and said that Harvey will be my friend when I am older, but that while I am little I must just be kind and not make him cross.

I find this very frustrating. I don’t see why Harvey wouldn’t want to be my friend now. I am easily the most interesting person in this house ... way more interesting than the parent staff.

Anyway. In spite of my Harvey plan not working, I have had a nice day. Rachel and baby Olivia have been to visit us, and we went for a walk in the park and collected baby treasure, and then we all had lunch and played with my toys back at home. This afternoon me and mummy have done some drawing as well, which was fun. My drawings were beautiful.

Daddy was not here for my bedtime tonight because he was working, but Harvey came in to say goodnight to me and to listen to my story, so that made things better. I’m sure that Harvey must want to be my friend really, under all his crossness, because he comes to say goodnight to me at most of my bedtimes. I do like him very much.

Wednesday, 19 September 2012

The grandparent staff were looking after me this morning, and I helped them to do their shopping in the big shop. I helped by grabbing things that I liked the look of down from the shelves as I went past them in my trolley seat.

I grabbed lots of big shiny red bags that crackled in my hands, and Gran kept shouting, “No, no, put the popcorn back!”, and I kept saying “Hee hee”, and grabbing more bags. The grandparent staff found this very helpful indeed.

At lunchtime mummy came home from work, and we said goodbye to the grandparent staff because they were going back home.  Then mummy put some washing in the whirly machine, and did some tidying and hoovering. I walked around with my books and kept her company.

After a while mummy went to the toilet, and I followed her into the bathroom and pointed at her and shouted, “Wee wee!” Then I walked around the toilet and prodded mummy in the bottom and shouted, “BUM!”

Mummy said that this was not a very polite thing to do, and that I should say “bottom” instead of “bum”. But she was impressed that I had got the staff words right.

Later on we went to the park, and had a long walk. We walked very far and collected lots of baby treasure, and I was very good and held mummy’s hand all the way. Once a man walked past us, and I stopped and pointed up at him and shouted, “MAN!” Mummy did not seem very happy about this, but I had felt that she needed to be warned, in case she had not seen the man herself.

We walked all the way across the park to the playground, and then we went on the swings and the slide and the roundabout.

Then mummy thought that it was time to go back home again, but she was wrong about this and I told her so. I told her so by throwing a huge paddy all the way back across the park. I paddied and shouted and stamped my feet and refused to walk until mummy had got so far ahead of me that I was worried she might actually go home without me, like the big meanie that she is.

When we were by the pond, a lady walked past us and saw me paddying, and saw mummy standing a little way in front of me waiting, and she smiled and said to mummy, “Oh, aren’t you cruel!”

I’m glad that other people are starting to notice mummy’s cruelness. It is just a shame that the lady didn’t tell mummy to take me back to the swings, like she should have done.

Anyway, mummy was getting cross because it was taking us so long to get back to the car, so one or two times she tried to come and pick me up so that she could carry me for a bit. When she did this, I had a panic, because I knew that mummy would take me even further away from the playground, so I cried more loudly and tried to run away.

Mummy got even more cross about this, because she said that people would think that she was trying to “kid-nap” me. I don’t know what “kid-napping” is, but if it is a bad thing then I’m sure that it is something that mummy does often.

In the end we got back to the car and mummy took me home, and on the way home I forgot about our brawl. Mummy didn’t forget though, and when we got back inside she made me say that I was sorry, and give her a hug so that we could make friends again.

I decided that it was best to make friends, because mummy is in charge of making my dinner, and I like dinner.

Daddy came home during dinner time, and I was very excited to see him. Me and daddy played in the living room together until bath time, and made a nice mess all over the carpet with my books and toys.

Daddy is not going to work tomorrow, so he will be at home with mummy and me all day long. I hope this means that he will keep mummy in line, and let me stay in the playground for as long as I want, and not make me say sorry when mummy is up to no good.

Monday, 17 September 2012

I have two new people in my life now. One is a toy that the grandparent staff have given me. It is a little white cat in a box that is small enough for me to carry around with me. I call him “Mim” and he is a nice pet for me to have. He does not look worried when I come near him like Harvey does, and I can take him with me when I go out. I love him very much and we are enjoying having lots of adventures together.

The other new person is now a member of my staff team. She is called Jenny and she is a “child minder”.

This morning, after breakfast and getting dressed, mummy put me in the car and took me to Jenny’s house to play. Jenny’s house is really cool. I have been there twice before: once with the parent staff and once on my own, for just a little bit of time. There are many, many toys and books, and there is a big garden with grass and swings and a small house for babies to play in. Best of all, there are other babies like me there playing, too. In my house the only person who is fun to play with is Harvey, and he hides a lot.

When we got to Jenny’s house, mummy talked to Jenny for a bit, and then she gave me a hug and a kiss and said goodbye. I waved to her from the front door and shouted “bye!”, and then I ran away to play and forgot all about mummy for the rest of the day.

In the morning time we all went to a play group near Jenny’s house, and we ran around and played with toys and ate toast. This was very good fun and I made friends with a little boy called Tom, who also plays at Jenny’s house and is the same size as me. I took him for lots of walks and showed him the toys that I had found.

Then we all went back to Jenny’s house, and we had lunch and painted pictures and played in the garden. I found lots of books and I pointed at the pictures in them and shouted out words in the staff language. Jenny was very impressed by how many staff words I know. I did my really good pig impression for her as well, and made my piggiest face, and she laughed lots.

Near the end of the day, I remembered mummy and I felt that she had been away from me for a long time, so I wandered out to the front door and said, “mum”. Mummy was not there, but not long after this there was a knock on the door, and when we opened it mummy was standing there, grinning in a cheesy way and looking very happy to see me (as she should be).

I said “mum” many times and hugged her, and took her to see all of the books that I had found. I sat on mummy’s knee while she talked to Jenny and Jenny told her how good I had been. I didn’t want mummy to think that I was going to be good for her as well, after she so rudely left me all day, so I threw a random paddy and shouted really loudly until mummy took me outside to the car to go home. 

Then I found that Mim was in the car, because mummy had brought him with her to pick me up, and I was happy again on the way home.

When we got home, daddy was there waiting for us, and although I was pleased to see him I was feeling a bit argumentative, so I had many more paddies before bedtime, and one super-paddy when the parent staff put me to bed. It is very hard work to be good all day long and keep all your naughty inside, and afterwards it has to pop out and make loud noises.

I’m sure that the parent staff should understand this, because I am very cute and make them laugh most of the time, and they love me even when they are cross. I will be nicer to them at bedtime tomorrow.

Saturday, 15 September 2012

It is the weekend again now, and as I am feeling a lot better the parent staff wanted me to have fun and go on another “ad-ven-ture”. So we packed up our things for going away, and then we got into daddy’s car and we went out into the countryside to play.

Daddy drove us to our favourite village and we went to a cafe for lunch. The parent staff ordered me some cheese on toast, but they ordered huge plates full of cakes and sandwiches for themselves, because they always eat the best food and leave me to starve and eat boring things. I ate just a bit of my cheese on toast, and then I left the rest and ran around the table trying to steal bits of cake. 

After lunch we went to the playground, and I went on the slide and the swings and I collected some baby treasure and gave it to the parent staff to hold.

Then we got back into the car and drove to the house where the grandparent staff live. This is also in the countryside. The grandparent staff have a really cool house because it has a cat and a dog, and there is a very big garden with trees and grass and a pond and a “hot-tub”. There are also lots of toys just for me, because I am the only baby who goes to play there.

When we arrived at the grandparent staff’s house, I entertained all the grown-ups by playing on the floor with my tray full of toys while they watched me. Then I did a very big bottom burp, and the grown-ups all stared at me and put their shocked faces on, and I laughed and said, “pump!” very proudly. This is a very good party trick – it always makes grown-ups laugh, because bottom burps are funny.

Then I went in the hot-tub with mummy and daddy and der (which is my special name for grandad), and I splashed about and played with the hot-tub toys. Two of the toys are little tiny people, a boy and a girl, and when you wind them up they swim across the hot-tub. I like to pick the little people up and bite their heads.

 When I was starting to get wrinkly fingers, mummy lifted me out of the hot-tub and wrapped me in a big towel, and we went inside for dinner.

I had a lovely dinner and then my bath and story and milk, and then the parent staff put me to bed in my travel cot. Tomorrow we will all get up and play some more with my toy tray, outside in the garden. It will be good fun.

Friday, 14 September 2012

I am still poorly today, but I am starting to be mended now.

Last night I was asleep for most of the night like I usually am, and the parent staff did not need to come in and look after me. On the night before, I was up lots and lots and in the end daddy came to sleep in my bedroom with me. This was good because when I woke up in the night feeling sad, I remembered that daddy was in the room with me, and it made me feel better.

I would not want daddy to stay in my room every night though, because he makes snorey pig noises while he is asleep, and it is annoying.

This morning the parent staff woke me up by dancing around my bedroom singing at me, which is what they do on most mornings. They are very strange people. Mostly I just ignore them, and wait until they have something sensible to say for themselves.

After wake-up time, daddy went to work and mummy gave me my breakfast and got me washed and dressed. Then we walked down the road to Auntie Beccy’s house, because we had a job to do there.

Auntie Beccy’s house is “for sale”, and this means that lots of people go there to look at it and ask silly questions about the “boy-ler” and the “ney-burs”. Sometimes me and mummy go and let the people into the house while Auntie Beccy is at work. Today mummy took a big pile of my books with us, so that I would read them and not break all of Auntie Beccy’s things.

For a while I sat and read my books, but then I saw a big bowl on the table that was full of bits of dry planty stuff that smelled nice. So then I stole some bits of planty stuff and tried to eat them, and mummy chased me round trying to stop me.

My fun was interrupted by someone knocking on the front door, and we found out that it was the people who were visiting the house. One was a lady and she seemed to be nice, but the other was a man and I was a bit suspicious of him, because I can’t help feeling that all new men are bad people who can’t be trusted.

The people looked at all the rooms in the house and I kept a close watch on the man, but he didn’t seem to do anything naughty.

Then they went away again, and me and mummy walked back home. Mummy did some jobs and I tried to get Harvey to play with me, but he didn’t want to.

It makes me sad when Harvey doesn’t want to play with me. Mummy has started to let me help with feeding Harvey now, so that he will like me more. Mummy puts the food into his bowl and I put the bowl down on the floor for him. Then I sit down on the floor next to his bowl and watch him eat.

Today Harvey would not eat his dinner when I gave it to him, so I picked up one of his biscuits with my finger and thumb, and then I followed him around shouting “mim mim mim!”, and trying to push the biscuit into his mouth.

Mummy told me to stop doing this, and she said that Harvey would eat his dinner when he gets hungry. I don’t think that this is fair, because mummy expects me to eat my dinner as soon as she puts it in my bowl. When I am able to use the staff language properly, this is one of the issues that I will raise with mummy.

This afternoon we went shopping and to the park, and we went on the swings and fed the ducks. Then we came back home and played with my toys until daddy came home.

I was feeling a lot better by bedtime, but very tired because of all the sleep that I have missed. I will sleep very well tonight and let the parent staff catch up on their sleep as well, because I am kind.

Wednesday, 12 September 2012

I am poorly again at the moment, and it is very sad. I have not been sleeping well because I have been waking up in the night time, and not having naps in the day. When I try to sleep and have nice dreams about chasing Harvey, I wake up and feel unhappy.

As I say, it is very sad.

The saddest thing about being poorly is that I have a sore mouth, and so eating my food makes me hurt. Because of this I have only been eating soft things, like squishy fruit and yogurts and scrambled egg. This is not so bad because I like all of these things, but I am missing my big dinners that mummy usually makes me.

In spite of all of the sadness, I have had a good day today. This is because the grandparent staff have been looking after me, and we have done fun things. We have taken Molly for a walk and we have been shopping, to cool places that have lots of toys for me to play with. In one of the cool places I found a Georgia-sized trolley and a Georgia-sized pram, and I walked them up and down the shop and put things in them. People saw me with my pram and said, “aww”, which is what grown-ups say when they see me and think I am cute.

When we left the cool shop, the grandparent staff bought me a little toy to take home with me. It is a tiny slide, like my other slide only much smaller, with two tiny people who I can slide up and down it. It is really good fun to play with. The grandparent staff are my favourite people.

I have been teasing the grandparent staff a lot today too. The grown-ups like it when I say their names, because they are very vain, and now I can say everybody’s name except for grandad’s. When I speak to grandad, I call him “der”. Sometimes daddy will point at everybody in the room, and I will say each person’s name when he points to them: “mummy, daddy, Geor-jar, Beccy, Ben, ganmar” ... but when he points at grandad I always say “der”. When I do this all the grown-ups laugh, and grandad pretends to be cross that I won’t say his name, but really he is never cross with me because he loves me too much.

Today I was pointing at gran and saying “ganmar”, and then pointing at me and saying “Geor-jar”, and then pointing at grandad and saying “der!!!” This made the grandparent staff laugh and say that I am cheeky.

When the parent staff came home from work today I was very tired, and I suddenly felt that I needed to be very sad and to sit on mummy’s knee and make long whiny noises, like a very sad dog. It is hard to have such a busy day teasing your grandparent staff when you are as poorly as I am.

The parent staff were both very sorry for me, and they looked at me carefully and found little blisters on my hands and feet, as well as the ones in my mouth. They stroked my hair and told me how awful it is that I am poorly, but they obviously didn’t care that much because they were also laughing at me while I made the sad dog noises. This made me make the sad dog noises even more, and I made a sad face to go with them, too.

When the parent staff put me to bed, I didn’t complain much because I am very tired, but I am still not well and I will probably wake up in the night again. The parent staff will have to come and give me hugs, and some of that nice sweet pink stuff in the bottle that mummy calls “magic med-i-sin”.

Sunday, 9 September 2012

Lue was still here when I got up this morning. This meant that daddy had to make a special grown-up breakfast with pancakes, because this is what he does when other grown-ups sleep at our house.

It is good when this happens, because it means that I get to eat my normal porridge breakfast, and then steal bits of pancake breakfast later on.

Today I stood by mummy’s chair while she was eating her pancakes, and I opened my mouth wide and said, “Peese! More!” many times, and mummy fed me bits of pancake and fruit to keep me quiet.

Then we all went to play in the living room and Lue read me lots of books, and mummy got some of my things together so that we could go out to the park. I helped her to pack some of my books, because I am helpful. I have some new books that arrived for me in the “post” not long ago. “Post” is always good fun, because when it comes through our door, I pick it up and run to mummy shouting “POTE!”, and then we look at it together. It was even more exciting to get “post” that was for me, because this does not often happen. The books were in a big package that had come from my cousin Beth. Mummy said that I have not seen Beth since I was very little – but I know that I like her, because she is kind and she sends me books.

In the park we had lunch and played, and I took mummy for lots of walks. Auntie Beccy and her friend Lindsay were in the park with Molly (Molly is the dog who belongs to my grandparent staff), and they all came to play with us too. Lindsay had really cool hair that I wanted to touch. She saw me looking at her hair and she let me touch it, which was kind of her. I wanted to pull it a bit but I didn’t, because it is not nice to pull strangers’ hair. It is different with people who are staff, because they belong to me, so if I pull their hair it is funny.

When we got home from the park, Lue went away back to her own house, and the parent staff put me in the car and we drove a long way away to a house where mummy’s friend Siobhan lives with her boyfriend Alex. Their house is new, and we were visiting it for the first time.

I was not very happy for the first bit of time that I was in Siobhan’s house, because it was a strange place with strange people, and I wasn’t sure if I liked it. So I had a few quick paddies, about things like mummy not going for walks with me, or letting me go up the stairs. Siobhan’s house is very tall and the ceilings are very high up, so my paddies made loads of noise and it sounded great.

Mummy did not think so though. She was very cross and she said that I was “em-bar-a-sing”, and that it is naughty to make so much noise in other people’s houses.

I felt a bit calmer after I had let some rage out through my paddies, and everything got better after that. There was nice food and I was able to explore a bit, and people read me books and were nice to me.

Mummy ran me a bath in Siobhan’s bathroom, and it had lots of bubbles and my bath frog in it so it was good.

After my bath I sat in my pyjamas and had my story and milk, and then we said goodbye to Siobhan and Alex, and mummy drove us home in the dark. I fell asleep on the way home, and when I woke up, the parent staff were putting me into my cot at home.

It has been a very busy day and I am very tired ...

I will sleep very well tonight.

Saturday, 8 September 2012

I have had many visitors admiring me today, and I have done some visiting myself.

After I had eaten my breakfast this morning, mummy took me into the living room to play, and I got out my books and asked for my slide, by pointing at it and saying, “Shide!” Then I had fun climbing up the slide the wrong way, and sliding back down it on my tummy.

 When the grown-ups are watching me play on my slide, they wait until I’ve climbed to the top and then they say some “numbers”, and then I slide down to the bottom and they shout, “Yey!!!”

Daddy is trying to teach me some “numbers” at the moment, but mummy says that I am too small to learn them. I am not too small though – I can say quite a few “numbers”, although I’m not sure what they mean. Every time I climbed to the top of my slide this morning, I would shout, “Mon! Two! Four!!!” and then slide back down it. Mummy thought this was great. She laughed lots and gave me many claps.

After this, mummy got me dressed into one of my pretty dresses, and we got in the car and went to see Nic and Jackson. Jackson has lots of cool toys and some books that I haven’t seen before. He is a bit bigger than me and he has some words that he says a lot. His favourite staff language words are “dirty” and “broken”. While we were playing, Nic asked Jackson if he would like to give me a kiss, but Jackson shook his head at me and said, “No! Dirty! Broken!”

Mummy thought this was hilarious, because she is rude and not nice to me, but I was not very impressed. I am not dirty or broken, I am very pretty and lovely.

After we had played with Jackson and eaten very nice lunch that Nic had made for us, mummy took us back home to daddy. Then she went out to drink silly juice with some of her friends, and left me with daddy and Lue. Lue is mummy and daddy’s friend, and she has come to stay in my house today so that she and daddy can so some re-vi-shun for her work.

Re-vi-shun is boring and I do not like it at all. It means that the grown-ups sit and look at their boring books, which have no pictures in them, instead of reading my good books with me. I pestered daddy and brought him lots of books, and I kept grabbing his finger and saying, “Walk! Walk!”, but daddy was rude and would not go walking with me.

In the end daddy thought it might be better if we went out so that I would not be as bored, and I got into my pram and we went to the park, where it was much more fun.

After the park we came back home, and mummy came back from drinking silly juice, to make my dinner and give me lots of cuddles. Her friend Heather came to see me too, and she told me how pretty I am and how much I look like daddy. I do look like daddy, only prettier.

Harvey was here for my bedtime tonight, which was good. I hope that tomorrow I will get to play with him lots, and that the grown-ups will have finished their “re-vi-shun”, so they are more fun.

Thursday, 6 September 2012

Daddy is working in the night-time again at the moment, so he came home this morning while me and mummy were still playing in our pyjamas. He was not as tired as he usually is, so we let him help us with our “chores”, which he was really happy about.

We also let him drive us to the big shop, and he put lots and lots of things in the trolley that mummy said we didn’t need, but that she let him have anyway because he put on his sulky face (which I use when mummy is being unreasonable too).

We spent a lot of mummy’s money in the big shop, and then we went back home and mummy did lots and lots of washing while daddy played with me in the living room.

Later on, mummy’s friend Marie came round to our house to see me and to take me and mummy out to the park. Mummy told me that I had seen Marie before, back when I was very small, but I didn’t remember her at all. I liked her though – she seemed like a good person who might read me lots of books if I asked her nicely. Daddy went upstairs for his nap while mummy put me in my pram so that we could go to the park with Marie.

In the park, we went down to the pond and threw bread for the ducks. My bread did not go very far, but this was good because it meant that the ducks came very close to me to get my bread, and I was able to make friends with them.

Then mummy said that we had to go back home, and I didn’t want to because I wanted to stay and play with my duck friends. So when mummy put me in my pram, I cried loudly and wriggled back onto the floor, and tried to run away. This happened twice and then Marie picked me up and put me in my pram so that mummy could strap me in and stop me from escaping.

I had thought that Marie was a good person, but it became clear from this that she is on mummy’s side, even when mummy is being awful. This just goes to show that you can’t trust any grown-ups really.

When we got back home, Marie said goodbye to us and went away, and mummy very quickly put my swim nappy on under my normal clothes, and packed some things into my swimming bag. Then we got in the car and went to my swimming lesson.

I have been having swimming lessons for a long time now. They are very good fun and I have made some nice friends there. The class is run by a lady called Lynn, and she teaches us to do really cool stuff like swim underneath the water, chase rubber ducks, and hold on to the side of the pool. I have not had any swimming classes for a lot of days now, so it was very exciting to be back at the pool.

Today, though, we had only been in the pool for a very little bit of time when Lynn stopped very suddenly and said that we were all going to have to get out, because someone had done a poo in the water. Mummy looked at me very suspiciously but it wasn’t my poo; one of the other babies had done it. The poo was leaking out of his nappy and he looked very pleased with himself.

Mummy always blames me for things that aren’t my fault.

After this we all got out of the pool and went to get dressed again, so that we wouldn’t get poo on us. I don’t think that I would have minded having poo on me really, but grown-ups are fussy about things like that.

Mummy drove us back home and read me a few books while we waited for my dinner to cook. Dinner tonight was fish pie – very good!! When I had eaten it we went upstairs to wake daddy up, so that he didn’t miss my bath time.

Both of the parent staff put me to bed, but Harvey was not there to say goodnight to me because he had gone out to play. I would have swapped one of the parent staff for Harvey if I had been allowed to choose.

Maybe mummy will take me swimming again soon, to make up for the poo problem in swimming class today. And for her bad behaviour in the park earlier on.

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

Lately I have been learning to climb, which is proving to be very useful for my missions.

Mummy went back to work today and daddy got to be my staff for the whole day. He was not great at this, because he had decided that he wanted to make a “ro-man-tic” dinner for mummy, so he was very busy for a lot of the day. This meant that he did not read me as many books as he does normally, or take me out to the park. But it did mean that he wasn’t watching me very carefully, which was good because it meant that I could play with things that I am not supposed to. Heh heh.

Early in the morning we went out to the big shop and bought lots of food for the “ro-man-tic” dinner. Daddy bought lots and lots of plums, which I thought was interesting. I wondered if I would be able to steal some of these later.

Then we went home and daddy went into the kitchen with all of his food, and I brought some of my books and toys into the kitchen so that I could keep daddy company while I played. I have to look after daddy very carefully when he is at home with me.

Daddy put some prawns and sauce onto a plate, and then he left the plate on the dining table near where I was playing. I like prawns and I thought that they would be good to play with, so I decided to use my new climbing skills to get at them. I climbed up onto a chair and then I climbed up onto the table, and then I found the prawns and pulled them all down onto the floor. Then I sat on the floor and wiped prawn sauce into my clothes.

Daddy came to see what I was doing, and when he saw the prawns on the floor he scooped them all up and put them into the bin. I was not finished playing with the prawns, though, so I sneaked over to the bin while daddy was turned away again, and I reached up to open the lid and rescue the prawns back out. Sadly daddy saw what I was doing before I could finish the rescue mission, and he told me off and sent me away to play with my normal toys.

I did play with my normal toys for a while, but then I remembered the plums, so I went on another mission to find out where daddy had put them. It turned out that they were up on the table too, so I used my climbing skills again to get some down. Then I stuffed some plum into my mouth before daddy would realise what I was doing.

Daddy caught me chewing plum, and then he took me upstairs to have my clothes changed, because they were covered in plum juice and prawn sauce. After this he watched me more closely, and I didn’t get to steal any more things.

Later on in the day Auntie Beccy came round to play, and me and daddy took her for a walk to the park. Mummy came home from work and she joined us in the park too, and I jumped on her lots and took her for walks and showed her how good I am at climbing up and down benches. Mummy was very impressed.

I did not sleep at all today, because I have been so busy climbing and doing my missions and looking after daddy, so I will have no trouble at all falling asleep tonight. I hope that mummy enjoys her “ro-man-tic” dinner, even if there are no prawns in it any more.

Monday, 3 September 2012

Today mummy took me on an “ad-ven-ture”. We packed some important things (food and books) into our car early in the morning, and then we drove to the countryside, where it is quiet and full of trees.

We went to a “vill-age” and we found Auntie Sophie, who had come there to meet us. Auntie Sophie had never been to this “vill-age” before, so we took her for a walk and mummy showed her some boring things like the church and the shops, and I showed her some fun things like some bits of plant that I had collected, and a worm that I found on the floor. Auntie Sophie liked my things best, especially the worm.

During our walk we went to the playground, and I went on the swings and the slide. Then we found a field and we sat on a blanket and ate snacks, and mummy read me some of my books and the grown-ups talked about boring things.

After this we went to a “pub” for our lunch. We sat outside in the garden, because it was nice and sunny, and I wandered around and arranged my books on a table that was away from where mummy and Auntie Sophie were sitting, because they were being boring again. There were some other people in the garden sitting at their own tables, and they watched me and smiled because I am funny.

While we were in the garden, I looked up at the church and I saw that it had a big clock on the wall, so I ran over to mummy to tell her about it. I pointed up at the church and I said, “COCK!” very loudly, a few times.

For some reason this made mummy and Auntie Sophie laugh a lot. I don’t know why this was. Clocks are not particularly funny.

Anyway, our lunch arrived soon after this and I had nice fishcakes and the grown-ups had sandwiches. I ate most of my fishcake but I also spat some of it out onto the floor, because it was hot. Mummy told me off and said that I have no “manners”. I don’t know what a “manner” is but I don’t think that I want to have any. They sound boring.

After we had eaten our lunch, the grown-ups were talking again and it was still boring, so I gave Auntie Sophie a smack on her knee. It was not a hard smack at all, but mummy was cross about it anyway and she told me off. This was good because it meant that mummy was paying attention to me again, as she should have been. So I gave mummy a big smile and I gave Auntie Sophie a few more knee-smacks, and mummy was cross until I stopped. After this I said “sor-ree” to Auntie Sophie and gave her knee a stroke, so that she would know that I am still her friend.

When we left the “pub” we walked back to our car, and not long after this we said goodbye to Auntie Sophie and mummy drove us back home again.

Because I had slept lots in the car on the way home from our “ad-ven-ture”, I was not really that tired when it was time for bed. So I sat in my cot for a very long time after mummy had put me to bed, and talked to myself. I practised my staff words and made animal noises. Once or twice I said “mum” and “dad-dee” in my saddest voice, but neither of the parent staff came in to see me. They are very unkind. I will punish them for this in the morning.

Sunday, 2 September 2012

I have discovered a new staff word, which has magic powers and gets me things that I want. The word is “please”.

Today the parent staff took me to a “food festival” in the park. There were lots of people and tents and nice smells, and grown-ups giving out bits of food on sticks. The greedy parents were very excited about all of this. Daddy kept looking for sticks that had sausage on them. Daddy is very greedy about sausage.

For most of the time that we were at the “food festival”, I was in my backpack on daddy’s back. This is because when the parent staff had let me go on the ground and asked me to walk with them, I kept finding that I needed to say “no” and run away in the opposite direction. This was a lot of fun for me, but mummy said she was worried that I might get lost. Mummy and daddy would be very sad if they lost me, because their lives would be very boring and they would have no one to tell them off when their behaviour is bad.

It was okay in the backpack, anyway. I got to see far away things and the parent staff let me try lots of the food on sticks. Auntie Beccy was at the “food festival” with us. She was in a “com-pe-ti-shun” where she had to make a cake, because she makes good cakes that I never get to eat unless I am quick enough to steal them. Once she made little pies for a picnic and I stole two of them and stuffed them in my mouth before the parent staff could stop me. That was a good day.

While I was in my backpack, daddy and Auntie Beccy bought some bowls full of beef stew, and they gave me some of it on a spoon. This is how I learnt about “please”. I was opening my mouth for the stew, wide like a lion, and mummy said, “Say please”. So I said “Peese!”, and daddy gave me some stew. After that, as soon as my mouth was empty I would say “Peese!” again, and the grown-ups would laugh and give me more stew because they were happy that I was saying the magic word. It was useful to be able to control the grown-ups this way.

After the grown-ups decided that they had eaten enough food on sticks, we went back home across the park. On the way home I went to sleep, and when I woke up I played lots and spent some time with my books, as I had not been able to read any of them while we were at the “food festival”.

Tomorrow I will be having a day with mummy. The grandparent staff are going away to a sunny place, so mummy will play with me instead of going to “work”.