Today I have had a very boring morning, and a very fun afternoon.
This morning I was feeling very tired, so when I woke up I spent some time lying in my cot talking to myself quietly, and looking up at my dangly mobile. Then noisy mummy came crashing into my room and started to sing at me, and she made me get out of bed and go downstairs to eat breakfast. I could tell that she was only getting me up because daddy was still asleep, and she wanted someone to play with so she wouldn't get bored.
I allowed mummy to feed me and get me dressed, and then we played in the living room until daddy got up. When daddy came downstairs he was grumpy and he had on his troll face, where his hair sticks up all over the place and he's cross because he doesn't want to be awake.
When daddy was not looking so much like a troll, we went to the big shop and bought a LOT of food, and I wriggled around in the trolley seat and shouted "down!", but the parent staff were very boring and made me stay where I was.
When we got to the "check-out", I tried to steal food as it moved towards the till lady on its own, but the parent staff wouldn't let me do this either. It was very boring indeed.
After this, we went back home and put all the food away, and then the parent staff decided that we were going to do fun things because there had been enough boringness now.
So we packed up some picnic stuff and some coats and my wellies, and we got into the car and drove far away to a place in the countryside, where there was the biggest playground that I have ever seen. On the way there we stopped to collect Sean and Catherine, who are friends of the parent staff's. The parent staff thought that it would be nice to take Sean and Catherine out for an adventure with us, where they would get to spend some time admiring me.
The giant playground place was a "trail", where people walk around a big field and do dangerous things like go across tiny bridges and get lost in mazes, and fall over in the mud. I let my wellies have lots of fun splashing in the puddles, and I fell over lots and got my hands very muddy. Every time I fell over, I showed mummy my hands and said, "dir-ty", and made her clean them for me. Well, what else are staff for?
When we had been all around the "trail", we went back to the car and drove away to a "pub", where the parent staff thought that we should have dinner. Daddy ordered us all some food and mummy put me in a highchair and tried to make me be still and quiet while we waited for the food to come to us. She got out some playing cards and tried to get me to play "snap".
"Snap" is a great game. I know how to play it because daddy taught me the other day. One of the grown-ups will put some cards down on the table, and I have to bang my hands down on top of them and shout "NAP!" Then I have to pick all the cards up and scrunch them tightly in my fists, and put them in my mouth and bite them before the grown-ups can get them back from me. I was very good at playing "snap" in the pub, and I won lots of cards to bite.
I had not quite eaten all of the cards when our food arrived, and then I forgot about "snap" because I had fish cakes to eat instead. The fish cakes were very nice and I ate them all up. Then I ate a banana, and leaned my head sideways so I could look at the grownups and laugh while they finished eating their food.
After this we all got back into the car, and daddy drove us home again. It was dark by this time and I am normally in bed before it gets dark, so it was fun to still be up playing with the grown-ups. Mummy was sitting in the back of the car with me on the way home and I pestered her with books until I fell asleep.
When I woke up, we were at home and the parent staff were putting me in the bath so that they could wash all the mud off me from the "trail". It was a nice bath, but I was very sleepy and I felt ready to go to bed by this time.
The parent staff gave me lots of kisses at bedtime and said that they have had lots of fun with me today. This is probably true, because I am very entertaining, and without me they would have very boring grown-up times.