Thursday, 27 December 2012

Auntie Al has been staying in our house since the day of the Santa presents, so I have been making myself even more entertaining than usual for her benefit. I don't like to think that anyone who comes to stay in our house will get bored from doing too much rubbish grown-up stuff.

In the last few weeks I have made some changes to my eating habits. This has mainly been because I have discovered that some of the food which mummy has been giving me since I was very small, and which I have always eaten obediently in the past, is actually nasty and poisonous, and needs to stay out of my tummy.

So at lunchtime today when mummy tried to get me to eat some grapes, I lined the grapes up in a nice neat row on my highchair tray, and then I threw them on the floor one by one. I gave mummy a stern look while I was doing this, to show her what I thought of her stinky poisonous food.

Mummy was very cross with me, but it was hard for her to tell me off because Auntie Al was sitting nearby laughing, and even though she had her hands over her mouth there were lots of squeaks of laughter coming out from between her fingers. This meant that Auntie Al got a telling-off as well as me, which was fun. When you are in trouble with mummy, it is always fun to get someone else into trouble too.

Mummy told me that I wasn't allowed to have any yogurt since I wouldn't eat my grapes. This was sad, but I felt that it would be better to go without my nice yogurt than to risk being poisoned by mummy's grapes.

Anyway, I got my own back later on when we were playing in the living room. Mummy and Auntie Al were sitting on the sofa, and I had brought them one of my new sticker books to look at. It's a really cool book and the stickers are all characters from one of my favourite stories. I sat on mummy's knee and peeled the biggest sticker out of my book, and then I turned towards mummy's face and tried to cram the sticker through her lips. I put on my stern voice and said: "Open ... mouf!"

Mummy would not open her mouth and she said that she didn't want to eat stickers, but I kept trying to feed one to her anyway. I put on my wicked face and every few seconds I would turn around, offer a sticker to her, and say: "Open ... mouf!"

Mummy did not seem very pleased about this but Auntie Al did: she was sitting on the other side of the sofa and laughing so much that the sofa was shaking. It is nice when someone else laughs at your brilliant ideas.

Anyway, I hoped that the sticker feeding session would help to teach mummy a lesson: that it is not nice when people try to feed you things that you shouldn't be eating. Mummy is very stubborn though, and I'm sure that she won't stop trying to poison me any time soon.

Mummy says that Auntie Al will be going home again tomorrow, but daddy will be back with us, so I will still have two staff to entertain me while I play. I hope that daddy will be on my team at meal times, and won't join mummy in her evil plan to poison me with grapes.

Tuesday, 25 December 2012

I was woken up this morning by my very loud and very crazy parent staff bursting into my room, and dancing around my cot singing loud songs about Santa into my face.

 When mummy lifted me out of the cot, I saw that there were parcels on my bedroom floor, wrapped in penguin paper and looking very interesting. 

When mummy had done her nappy duties, she put me down onto the floor and let me attack the parcels, and after I had pulled off all of the paper I found a big floppy rag doll, some books, and a really awesome pink car for me to ride on. Daddy told me that these were all presents from Santa, to thank me for being such a good girl. If this is true, then I should get penguin-paper presents every day, because that is how often I am good.

The parent staff carried me and my presents downstairs, and I rode my pink car around the kitchen while daddy made breakfast. 

We had visitors at breakfast time: all three of the grandparent staff, and Auntie Beccy. They stayed with us for the whole day, and Auntie Al arrived later in the day as well. This meant that I got even more presents for being good, and that the grown-ups got some presents as well. The grown-ups' presents were boring things; so boring that I did not even want to steal them ... but maybe this was because none of the grown-ups have been as good as I have.

My presents were really cool and not at all boring. I got a pram, some cuddly toys, many, many books, a tea set, and a super-big yellow and red tent that would fit four or five Georgias in it. I got many other things as well, but it would take me a very long time to remember them all. Mummy said that there is not enough room in the house for her and daddy any more, and that they will have to move out and leave the house for me and my toys. 

This would be okay with me, as long as they leave Harvey here with me, and come back every day to give me some dinners. 

After everyone had opened all of their presents, we all went into the dining room to eat a special dinner that daddy had made for us. I was feeling a bit giddy and like I didn't really want to eat daddy's special dinner, so when mummy tried to feed it to me I only ate a few mouthfuls. I didn't get into much trouble for this because I have had a cough lately, and mummy thought that maybe I didn't want to eat much because my throat was sore. 

Ha - silly mummy!!!

I escaped out of my highchair after a while and ran away to play with my toys. Then a little bit later on, I came back into the dining room and found that the table was covered in yummy little puddings that Auntie Beccy had made. 

I am not usually allowed to eat grown-up puddings, but I thought that because I have been so very good, maybe Santa would like me to have a few extra presents ... so I ran over to the puddings and stole some, and crammed them into my mouth before the grown-ups could stop me. 

Some of the grown-ups laughed about this and some of them (mainly mummy) told me off, and after that they guarded the puddings very carefully so that I couldn't get them. I stood by the table and made my pig face at the grown-ups to distract them, and then when they were busy laughing at me I made more pudding attacks. I wasn't quite fast enough to get any more puddings to eat, but I did get to stick my fingers in a few of them, which was good.

The unfortunate thing about the pudding attacks was that mummy realised that I did not have a sore throat after all, and will probably not be so understanding in the future when I do not want to eat my dinner. When I think about it, though, I feel that the puddings were worth it.

I had lots of kisses to give out at bedtime tonight, and I was very tired by the time I went to bed. Mummy says that I must get a very good night's sleep, so that I have lots of energy for playing with all of my new toys in the morning.

Monday, 17 December 2012

Since daddy was working in the night for the last two days, he has been my staff all day today.

This morning he came home all sleepy, and lay down on the floor in the living room while I was reading my books. When I looked over at him, I saw that he had closed his eyes, and was looking suspiciously still.

Now, I do not expect my staff to be watching me every second of the day when they are with me. In fact, it is more helpful for some of my missions if sometimes they do not know exactly what I am doing. On the other hand, though, I do not expect staff to be falling asleep when they are on duty. As far as I am concerned, this is not an acceptable level of service at all.

So when I noticed what daddy was doing, I hurried across the room and stood on his face. Daddy yelled and squealed and I laughed lots, and it was all very funny.

I thought that daddy would have learnt his lesson from this, but I found out later on that he had not.

For the rest of the day we mainly played in the house, reading books and building towers, and eating good things like potatoes.

Then later in the afternoon we were back in the living room, and I was reading my books and organising them into a pretty pile on the floor, when I looked over at daddy and noticed that again he was lying on the floor with his eyes closed.

Now this would just not do. Daddy obviously needed some help staying awake, so I hurried over to him and got hold of his head, so that I could pull it upwards and make him sit up. I looked down at him and said, "Scuse me daddy! Scuse me daddy piggy!" loudly while I pulled at him.

Daddy still did not open his eyes, so I got hold of his big giant face between my hands and looked at him very sternly and said in my crossest voice, "No ... seeping ... daddy murphy!"

This made daddy wake up, at last. I kind of think that maybe this was because my really cross voice reminded him of mummy, and he didn't want to be in trouble. Anyway, I was glad that it worked.

Daddy did not go to sleep for the rest of the day, and we had a nice time playing and singing. Mummy was working late again tonight, so she was not here for my milk and bath and story time. This was sad for mummy, but quite good for me because when daddy is in charge of bedtime, I usually get to go to bed later than usual. Heh heh.

Daddy says that there are only two more days left before both of the parent staff will be home with me, and when this happens we will be getting ready for "cris-mas". I am still not quite sure what this is all about, but I am excited anyway.

Friday, 14 December 2012

I have discovered a great new thing to eat lately. It is called a "potato". Potatoes are round and funny and they live in a big bag that hangs from the wall in our kitchen.

Because the weather has been so cold and rubbish lately, me and mummy have been eating a lot of potatoes at lunchtime. Mummy makes them hot and soft in the microwave, and then she covers them in butter and cheese and scrapes out their tummies with a pointy spoon. Then she puts all of the yummyness into my pig bowl, and I eat it all up with my pink spoon.

Mummy says that this is "comfort food", and that we need it to help us stay happy through the cold weather.

The yummyness is not the only cool thing about potatoes. They are also really good fun to play with, because they are round and roly and they make good balls. Today when mummy was in the kitchen doing the washing up, I stole a potato out of the hanging bag, and I walked around the kitchen and the dining room throwing it about and seeing how far it would roll.

Mummy told me a few times not to do this, because she is a spoil sport, but I was too busy laughing at the potato to listen to her. In the end mummy picked me up and stole my potato off me, and strapped me into my highchair so that I couldn't play the potato game any more.

I made some of my cheeky goblin faces at mummy while I was in my highchair, and she took pictures of me with her camera because I am cute.

This afternoon, mummy decided that she was going to try and put me into bed for a "nap" after lunch. Normally I do not "nap" for very long like other babies do, and I usually just have a quick sleep while I am out in my pram or in the car. For some reason mummy had this idea that she should train me to "nap" at home in the daytime, so that I will still have a sleep even if we are not out doing things.

What mummy didn't think about was the fact that I have been training her for a pretty long time now, to not put me to bed during the daytime when fun things are going on.

Mummy got me a blanket and some pillows and tried to get me to lie down in the living room, with the curtains shut. She even lay down next to me on the floor and closed her eyes, as if she was going to go to sleep too. I lay down under the covers, but I did not want to sleep so I rolled about and kicked my legs around and talked loudly. Then I found the remote control for the TV, and bashed mummy in the face with it, and laughed.

Mummy was not at all happy about this, and neither was daddy. (Daddy was at home with us today too.) Daddy told me that it is very naughty to bash people with remote controls, and he took me upstairs and put me in "time out" on the landing.

I was planning to be very unhappy about this and to cry very loudly, but I must have been more tired than I realised, because after just a few moments I fell asleep ... so I did end up having that nap after all.

Those sneaky grown-ups.

When I woke up, I played in the living room with the parent staff until tea time, and then I had some nice pasta and yummy pudding before my bath.

Mummy says that we have lots of things to do tomorrow. I hope that she isn't going to try training me to do something else boring and rubbish, because I really don't want to have to bash her in the face again.

Wednesday, 12 December 2012

My new teeth were being naughty again today, which has been very sad for me.

They were not naughty in the morning time, which was good because the parent staff took me to Jenny's house to be looked after while they went to work, and Jenny took me and the other little people to the big squishy playground that is inside and has soft things to jump on. It would have been no fun if my teeth had been naughty while I was in the squishy playground.

As I was feeling well and happy in the morning time, I got to run around and jump on things, and go down big slides which were awesome.

In the afternoon, after we had all eaten our lunch, I went to sleep in my special blanket bed on the floor of Jenny's living room. Jenny lets me sleep in the special bed because I am not used to going to bed in the middle of the day like the other small people, and she worries that if she puts me upstairs in a cot, I will keep the other small people awake. Which I probably would.

Anyway, I woke up because my mouth was suddenly feeling very sore, and it was so horrible that I felt like I wanted to pull all of the hurtyness out of my mouth with my fingers. So I started crying and stuffing my hands in my mouth, and Jenny came in and hugged me and gave me some magic medicine.

The magic medicine did not make the teeth stop hurting me straight away, and I stayed on Jenny's knee for a long time. I cried a lot because it was very sad.

After a while, mummy came in, and when I saw her I put my arms out for her, and she picked me up and let me cry onto her shoulder, and dribble into her hair. This made me feel a bit better. Mummy said that we were meant to be going to a "Cris-mas" party, but since I was so sad she thought it was better if we just went home instead.

I felt a bit better on the way home. We went on a bus, which was exciting. I sat on mummy's knee and pointed at other people who were sitting near us, and said, "Girl. Boy. Man." My voice was a lot quieter and more hiccupy than usual because I had been crying for so long.

When we got home, mummy spread out some of my toys and my slide in the living room, and I ran around and played with them all. I was feeling a lot better by this time, and at one point I stuffed Mim in my mouth and made my goblin face at mummy to make her laugh.

Daddy came home not long after this, and mummy went back out to work. My teeth were starting to hurt again now, so I was a bit grumpy with daddy until bedtime. He did a good job of dealing with my grumpyness.

I am feeling tired now ... Naughty teeth make you very sleepy. Hopefully when I wake up tomorrow I will have new teeth and no more soreness, and I won't have to miss any more "Cris-mas" parties.

Friday, 7 December 2012

My day today started with me being very sensible and good. I ate my breakfast, let mummy get me washed and dressed, and then sat on the floor in the living room reading books to myself.

Then daddy came home from night work and made lots of noise, and I stopped being sensible because I suddenly felt the need to laugh lots and throw myself on top of daddy while he was lying on the floor, and bite his shoulders and arms. 

Mummy put her stern face on at daddy and told him that I had been very well-behaved before he came home, and that he had made me "hy-per". I helped mummy to tell daddy off by biting him again, extra hard. Daddy squealed and shouted and tried to wriggle away from my teeth, and it was funny.

It was nice having the parent staff home with me all day long. We did some boring things like the shopping, but then we all had lunch together and we ate baked potatoes, and it was good.

After lunch we all went swimming, not to my swimming lesson but to the swimming pool where mummy sometimes takes me to play. Mummy says that this pool is "scruffy", but we like it because it is warm and not very busy, and the people who work there are very nice and bring me toys to play with.

Today in the pool, daddy put me in a little pink rubber ring, and I kicked my legs hard and chased after the parent staff and tried to eat them. I wanted to eat them because I was being a crocodile.

When me and mummy went back to the changing room after swimming, I sat on a chair and ate my snacks while mummy got herself dried and put her clothes back on. When mummy was rudie I pointed at her and shouted: "Mummy's ... bottom!!!"

Mummy said, "Shh!" and gave me more grapes to eat.

While I was eating my dinner tonight, the grandparent staff appeared at my house, so I got to play with them before bedtime as well. That was fun. I got lots of kisses from everybody and I was very kind and gave out many hugs.

It has been a nice day, and the parent staff say that they will be with me all day tomorrow as well. I hope that they are planning some good things to keep me entertained.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

When mummy got me up this morning, I had fun teasing daddy before he went to work. Daddy wanted to give me a kiss, but I wouldn't let him and I kept hiding behind mummy instead. Then daddy put his hands over his eyes and cried, and I decided that I better had kiss him after all, because I didn't want him to embarrass himself in front of mummy.

After this, daddy kept pestering me while I was trying to eat my breakfast. He was trying to get me to say that I love him, and I was ignoring him and looking round at other people and saying: "I you ... mummy! I you ... mim! I you ... nan-mar!" Daddy was not very happy with me, and it was funny.

The parent staff both went out to work after this, and I spent my morning playing with the grandparent staff. We went to the park and the big shop, and we had lunch in a cafe. I threw some fruit while we were in the cafe, but it was an accident.

After lunchtime, mummy came home from work, and me and mummy stood on the doorstep and waved to the grandparent staff as they drove away in their car, back to the big white house where they live.

Then we came inside and mummy started cleaning in the crazy way that she does when she has been in work for the last few days, and hasn't done any cleaning at all, and the carpet looks like the tray that Harvey does his poos in.

When mummy had finished cleaning, Aoibheann came round to play, and she brought cakes and her mummy, Anna, with her. I was very excited about the cakes because mummy let me have a bit of one, which doesn't normally happen because of mummy's awfulness. It was okay to see Anna, too.

Me and Aoibheann played with my slide and my tunnel, and spread my toys out all over the living room floor. The floor looked good.

Then the mummies put us in scruffy clothes and we did some painting. My paintings were mostly on my hands, and they were masterpieces.

I have had a sore mouth today and I have been doing lots of stinky poos, and mummy says that this is probably because I am getting more teeth. Teeth are good as they help you to eat yummy things, but I have lots of teeth already and I don't want any more if they are going to hurt me.

While me and Aoibheann were painting, I did a stinky poo which was burning my bottom, and I felt very upset while mummy took me upstairs and changed my nappy. I shouted lots and kicked my legs around, and Aoibheann brought Anna up into my bedroom to check that I was okay and that mummy wasn't being mean to me, which was nice of her.

I was a bit unhappy for the rest of the afternoon and I spent quite a lot of time sitting on mummy's knee, asking her to read to me and then closing the books on her fingers after one or two pages. Mummy was not very happy about this, and after a while she said that she wasn't going to read to me any more, so I got down and went to play on my slide with Aoibheann instead.

When Anna and Aoibheann went home, mummy gave me my dinner and did my bath and storytime while I drank my milk. I have not slept at all today so I was very tired while I was drinking my milk. I was glad to be put into bed with my dinosaurs tonight. Maybe when I wake up in the morning, I will have more teeth!

Saturday, 1 December 2012

This morning, while I was eating my breakfast in my highchair, I thought that it might be interesting to see how far I could throw my porridge spoon. So I said: "Throw ... spoon", and hurled the spoon at mummy's head.

Mummy said "Oi!" crossly, and banged the spoon back down onto my highchair tray.

I picked the spoon back up, and then I shouted "OI!!", and lobbed it at mummy's face.

Mummy would maybe have been cross about this, but daddy started laughing so hard that he had to leave the room, and then mummy had to accept that it was actually quite funny, and not a thing that I should be told off for.

While mummy was having a shower and washing porridge out of her hair, granny arrived at our house and came inside to give me lots of hugs and read me books. Daddy said that we were all going shopping for "Cris-mas", and that I would get to see lots of pretty lights and decorations. He put me in my big pink coat and my snuggly hat, and said that I could pack some books into mummy's handbag to read while we were out.

I grabbed as many books as I could carry and tried to ram them all into mummy's handbag at once, but daddy said that we only needed two or three books to take with us. What a spoilsport.

When mummy was all clean and smelling okay, daddy drove us all into town, and I got to ride in my pram.

I had a nice long sleep while I was in my pram, and when I woke up we were in a busy shop where lots of grownups were running around with bags, making all kinds of noise and crashing into each other a lot. There were lots of pretty lights up in the sky and in the windows of the shops, and big spiky trees were standing in the streets. We passed one spiky tree that was even bigger than daddy ... It was like five daddies, all standing on top of each other.

Mummy took us into a very big shop to look at toys, and I got very excited and said, "Down! Walk!"; so the grownups said that I could get out of my pram if I was very good and held their hands, and didn't run away when they told me not to. I said, "Kay", and held mummy's hand for about five seconds ... and then I ran away and hid behind some dolls, and jumped on a bed that had teddy bears in it.

Mummy and granny each got hold of one of my hands, and told me to walk with them nicely. I laughed and dropped down onto my knees, and made mummy and granny drag me along the floor like a rag doll.

Apparently the grownups did not feel that this was very good behaviour, so they picked me up and put me back in my pram again. I had a brief paddy about this and tried to escape, but the grownups overpowered me and strapped me in so I couldn't get out. It was not a very fair fight: there were three of them and they are all bigger than me. Grownups do not care very much about what is fair.

Anyway, we left the big shop soon after this, and drove back home in the car. Then granny said goodbye to us and went back to her own house, and I played games with the parent staff until tea time.

Before she put me into bed tonight, mummy told me that tomorrow we will go out and get one of those spiky trees for our own house. I hope that we can get the big one, that is taller than daddy, and make a hole in the ceiling for it to fit through.