Thursday, 27 December 2012

Auntie Al has been staying in our house since the day of the Santa presents, so I have been making myself even more entertaining than usual for her benefit. I don't like to think that anyone who comes to stay in our house will get bored from doing too much rubbish grown-up stuff.

In the last few weeks I have made some changes to my eating habits. This has mainly been because I have discovered that some of the food which mummy has been giving me since I was very small, and which I have always eaten obediently in the past, is actually nasty and poisonous, and needs to stay out of my tummy.

So at lunchtime today when mummy tried to get me to eat some grapes, I lined the grapes up in a nice neat row on my highchair tray, and then I threw them on the floor one by one. I gave mummy a stern look while I was doing this, to show her what I thought of her stinky poisonous food.

Mummy was very cross with me, but it was hard for her to tell me off because Auntie Al was sitting nearby laughing, and even though she had her hands over her mouth there were lots of squeaks of laughter coming out from between her fingers. This meant that Auntie Al got a telling-off as well as me, which was fun. When you are in trouble with mummy, it is always fun to get someone else into trouble too.

Mummy told me that I wasn't allowed to have any yogurt since I wouldn't eat my grapes. This was sad, but I felt that it would be better to go without my nice yogurt than to risk being poisoned by mummy's grapes.

Anyway, I got my own back later on when we were playing in the living room. Mummy and Auntie Al were sitting on the sofa, and I had brought them one of my new sticker books to look at. It's a really cool book and the stickers are all characters from one of my favourite stories. I sat on mummy's knee and peeled the biggest sticker out of my book, and then I turned towards mummy's face and tried to cram the sticker through her lips. I put on my stern voice and said: "Open ... mouf!"

Mummy would not open her mouth and she said that she didn't want to eat stickers, but I kept trying to feed one to her anyway. I put on my wicked face and every few seconds I would turn around, offer a sticker to her, and say: "Open ... mouf!"

Mummy did not seem very pleased about this but Auntie Al did: she was sitting on the other side of the sofa and laughing so much that the sofa was shaking. It is nice when someone else laughs at your brilliant ideas.

Anyway, I hoped that the sticker feeding session would help to teach mummy a lesson: that it is not nice when people try to feed you things that you shouldn't be eating. Mummy is very stubborn though, and I'm sure that she won't stop trying to poison me any time soon.

Mummy says that Auntie Al will be going home again tomorrow, but daddy will be back with us, so I will still have two staff to entertain me while I play. I hope that daddy will be on my team at meal times, and won't join mummy in her evil plan to poison me with grapes.

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