Saturday, 26 January 2013

Recently my bottom has been getting me into trouble. Not proper trouble, where I get put in "time out" because the parent staff are feeling cruel, but the kind of trouble where grown-ups shriek and put on stern faces and pretend to have cross voices, but really they are laughing.

A few days ago, while I was playing with my toys in the living room and mummy was talking on the sofa with our friend Jess (who had come round to visit us), my bottom let out an enormous burp ... and because I always get told off for making bottom burps, I immediately spun around, pointed straight at mummy and shouted, "MUM-MEEEEEY!!!!!"

Mummy and Jess both looked very shocked, but they were also laughing A LOT. Mummy had to check that Jess knew that the bottom burp wasn't hers, and then she made me say "Pardon me"; which I did with a big wide grin on my face.

Since that day, mummy has told the bottom burp story to a lot of people. I think that this is because she is worried that I will do it again, and that other people will think that the bottom burps are her fault, and will make her say "Pardon me".

My bottom got me into trouble again today when I was playing with my toys in the hallway. Some of my favourite toys at the moment are a set of little fairy people, who have smiley faces and nice colourful clothes on. I like to put all of the people into my car and take them for rides up and down the hallway, and then to unload them and arrange them in nice neat lines on the floor. (The lines have to be neat. If they are not neat then it makes me upset.)

While I am loading all of the people into my car I will talk to them, like the parent staff do to me. I say, "Tum on then, Georgia Murphy ... put body in car!"

The parent staff laugh about this and say that I should say "everybody", and not just "body", because otherwise the "pul-eese" will come for me. But "body" is easier to say, and besides, I do not know who the "pul-eese" are.

So today, I was putting my little people into the car, and mummy realised that I had done a stinky poo. (It must have been the smell from my nappy that gave me away - hmph.) So mummy reached out to pick me up, and said: "Come on, let's go and change your nappy" ... but I wasn't done with my people and my car, so I shouted "NO!", and at the same time I bottom burped at mummy's hands as I ran away.

Mummy caught me not long after this, and she told me off and made me say another "pardon me" for the bottom burp. And she changed my nappy after all, so my car and my people had to sit and wait until I was clean again.

When the staff were getting me ready for the bath at bedtime, I was running around with no nappy on, and suddenly a little wee escaped from my bottom and splashed onto the floor. I looked up at mummy in great surprise and said, "Water!!"

The grownups laughed and laughed at this, and then mummy had to clean the carpet.

Mummy says that one day I will not have a nappy any more, and I will have to do all of my wees and poos into the toilet, like grown-ups do. This sounds like a bit of a pain, but thankfully mummy didn't say anything about having to do all of my bottom burps in the toilet as well. I can still do those wherever I like.

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