I have been very busy entertaining today. Early this morning I entertained daddy, by letting him get me up and dress me and give me my breakfast. Then I entertained gran and granddad and let them take me with them to the big shop. Then I entertained mummy when she came home from work. And then I entertained my friends who came round to visit.
It has been one of those days where mummy is not away at “work” for as long as usual, and when she comes back we say goodbye to gran and granddad and then we wave to them as they drive away in their car.
Normally after this has happened, mummy is boring and she will use the “hoover” and do the washing up, and often we go to the big shop for more food. But today mummy sat and played with me in the living room, and we read books and waited for our friends to come round.
Our friends are called Anna and Aoibheann. We know them from swimming class. Aoibheann is a baby who is my size, and she’s fun because she can walk like me and we can play on my slide together. Today we were practising walking up the slide the wrong way.
When we had played on the slide for a long time, mummy went to get us snacks. She came back in with a bowl full of pieces of nectarine and plum, and put it down on the floor for me and Aiobheann to help ourselves to. I wanted to make sure that I got my fair share of nectarine, so I started picking up the pieces and shoving them in my mouth as fast as I could. My cheeks felt very full and mummy said that I looked like a hamster. I don’t know what a “hamster” is but I suspect that mummy was being rude to me. I stuffed some more nectarine in my mouth and mummy said that I couldn’t have any more, so I tried to get some anyway. Then mummy very rudely took the bowl away and put it high up out of my reach.
I realised that this was the most tragic thing that had ever happened to me, so I stood in front of mummy and started to cry very loudly. I was properly crying, with tears and snot running down my face and everything, but mummy didn’t give me my fruit back and she wasn’t even sympathetic. She just sat in front of me and held my hands and kept asking me to stop crying. I didn’t stop crying, because I was traumatised, so then she told me that she would put me in “time out” ... which means upstairs on the landing where it is boring and I can’t get to any books.
I wasn’t sure if I believed that mummy would put me in “time out”, so I carried on crying very loudly into her face, to get my point across. Anyway, it turned out that she did mean it, because then she picked me up and carried me upstairs and put me on the landing and left me there until I stopped crying.
When I stopped crying (because I was bored), mummy came back upstairs and opened the stair gate and gave me a hug and a kiss. Then she brought me back downstairs and put me back in the living room to play. While I was playing, I heard mummy and Anna saying that the “time out” thing is what Supernanny does. I don’t know who Supernanny is, but I don’t think I like her very much.
I played with Aoibheann and we went on my slide lots and we read lots of books. Then mummy found a small blue box full of round, shiny things and asked Anna if she would like some. She said they were called “Roses”. Anna took some shiny things and then put the box on the floor, and I played with it because I felt that the shiny things would make good baby treasure. Mummy asked me if she could have the “Roses” back because she didn’t think that they were meant for babies, but I knew she was wrong about this so I told her “no!”, and tried to hide them from her. Then mummy took the box away from me and put it high up out of my reach, just like she did with the nectarine.
At this point I realised that, actually, this was the most tragic thing that had ever happened to me. It was even more tragic than what happened with the fruit!!! So I started to cry loudly again, and mummy tried to talk to me again, and she talked about “time out” again ... but I was far too devastated by what had just happened to stop crying. So mummy took me upstairs and this time I got bored quicker, and I think I must have forgotten about the baby treasure, because when mummy brought me back downstairs again all I wanted to do was read my books.
I made mummy read me three or four books, and then it was time for Anna and Aoibheann to go home, which was sad ... but I was ready for my dinner anyway so it wasn’t so bad.
When I had finished my dinner I kept asking for daddy, but mummy said that he wouldn’t be home from work until I was asleep. I don’t know where “work” is, but I think it is a bad place. Maybe it is where Supernanny comes from.
I had a nice bath and mummy read me a good story while I had my milk. Mummy said that she will be at home with me all day tomorrow. I hope she will be behaving better by then.