Wednesday, 13 March 2013

I have learnt something new and interesting recently, and it is this: everybody that I know is either a boy or a girl.

To help me remember this important thing, I have started adding "boy" or "girl" to the end of people's names. For example, daddy is now "daddy-boy", and Harvey is "Harvey-boy". Auntie Beccy and Auntie Al are both girls, and so is mummy - but I find it more entertaining to give mummy the wrong name, just for fun.

This morning the grandparent staff looked after me while mummy was at work, so I didn't get a chance to talk about mummy's new name.

But when mummy came home after lunch, I decided that it would be funny to use the new name every time I spoke to her.

So I said "Hello, mummy-boy", and "Read book peese, mummy-boy", and "I can have biscuit, peese, mummy-boy" - and every time I did this mummy said "I'm not a boy, I'm a girl, like you!"; and I ignored her.

Not long after mummy had come home from work, the grandparent staff went away and a lady came round to our house to see me. Mummy said that the lady had come to visit me because I am two now, and she wanted to check that I am well, and to watch me play. This sounded okay, and the lady had brought some little toys with her in her bag which I played with for a while ... but after a bit I got bored because mummy was talking to the lady and not paying me any attention, and I thought that this was a bit rude.

So I got one of my books, sat down on mummy's knee, put my face in front of mummy's and said: "Mummy-boy, you will stop talking to yay-dee now, and read me book peese."

The lady laughed, and mummy looked very embarrassed and told me again that she was a girl, and not a boy. The lady went away again soon after this, and mummy-boy took me upstairs for my nap.

When I woke up after nap time, mummy took me shopping for food, and then we played games and made dinner. I carried on calling her mummy-boy the whole time, until it was nearly the end of the day, and I said: "Can we peese have dinner now, mummy-boy?", and mummy didn't tell me that she wasn't a boy this time - she just said: "All right then, Georgie-boy."

I was a bit shocked by this, and I shook my head and said very seriously: "No, am not a boy, am a girl, mummy-boy."

After that I was worried that my funniness was starting to confuse mummy (who is not as clever as I am), so I thought it would be best to call her "mummy-girl" instead of "mummy-boy" from now on.

When daddy came home from work at dinner time, he helped me to play in my bath and get ready for bed, and I gave him lots of hugs and told him that he was a good daddy-boy.

There was one change at bed time tonight. The lady who had come to see me earlier in the day had told mummy that I should start drinking out of a grown-up cup now that I am getting big. I do not see why the lady should want me to do this, but when mummy gave me my milk tonight, it was in a small white cup instead of my usual bottle.

I do not like cups; I find them very spilly, and I was highly suspicious of mummy and her new milk which dribbled down my chin as I tried to drink it. I glared at the cup so that it would know that I didn't trust it, and I said, "No, no, no!" in my tragic voice, and I only ended up having a tiny bit of milk in the end because I kept batting the cup away and making my I'm-being-poisoned face whenever the milk touched my lips.

The parent staff were a bit upset about me not drinking much milk, but this serves them right for listening to strange ladies who want to take away the things I like, instead of letting me be in charge as I should be.

It was sad not to have my bed time milk tonight, but maybe the parent staff will realise what a mistake they have made, and bring back my bottle for bed time tomorrow.

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