Today mummy took me on an “ad-ven-ture”. We packed some important things (food and books) into our car early in the morning, and then we drove to the countryside, where it is quiet and full of trees.

We went to a “vill-age” and we found Auntie Sophie, who had come there to meet us. Auntie Sophie had never been to this “vill-age” before, so we took her for a walk and mummy showed her some boring things like the church and the shops, and I showed her some fun things like some bits of plant that I had collected, and a worm that I found on the floor. Auntie Sophie liked my things best, especially the worm.

During our walk we went to the playground, and I went on the swings and the slide. Then we found a field and we sat on a blanket and ate snacks, and mummy read me some of my books and the grown-ups talked about boring things.

After this we went to a “pub” for our lunch. We sat outside in the garden, because it was nice and sunny, and I wandered around and arranged my books on a table that was away from where mummy and Auntie Sophie were sitting, because they were being boring again. There were some other people in the garden sitting at their own tables, and they watched me and smiled because I am funny.

While we were in the garden, I looked up at the church and I saw that it had a big clock on the wall, so I ran over to mummy to tell her about it. I pointed up at the church and I said, “COCK!” very loudly, a few times.

For some reason this made mummy and Auntie Sophie laugh a lot. I don’t know why this was. Clocks are not particularly funny.

Anyway, our lunch arrived soon after this and I had nice fishcakes and the grown-ups had sandwiches. I ate most of my fishcake but I also spat some of it out onto the floor, because it was hot. Mummy told me off and said that I have no “manners”. I don’t know what a “manner” is but I don’t think that I want to have any. They sound boring.

After we had eaten our lunch, the grown-ups were talking again and it was still boring, so I gave Auntie Sophie a smack on her knee. It was not a hard smack at all, but mummy was cross about it anyway and she told me off. This was good because it meant that mummy was paying attention to me again, as she should have been. So I gave mummy a big smile and I gave Auntie Sophie a few more knee-smacks, and mummy was cross until I stopped. After this I said “sor-ree” to Auntie Sophie and gave her knee a stroke, so that she would know that I am still her friend.

When we left the “pub” we walked back to our car, and not long after this we said goodbye to Auntie Sophie and mummy drove us back home again.

Because I had slept lots in the car on the way home from our “ad-ven-ture”, I was not really that tired when it was time for bed. So I sat in my cot for a very long time after mummy had put me to bed, and talked to myself. I practised my staff words and made animal noises. Once or twice I said “mum” and “dad-dee” in my saddest voice, but neither of the parent staff came in to see me. They are very unkind. I will punish them for this in the morning.